Self Esteem.

I have very low self esteem. I have horrible anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I never talk about my past with anyone, and most of the time I act like it never happened. I block it out of my mind, but sometimes it forces itself through, and I get into this state of depression, and it's hard to come out of. Ever since I've been on lexapro though, it's gotten alot better. I rarely have panic attacks, and when I have flashbacks, I can usually get through them very quickly. Matt understands all of this, and I've told him about my past. He's helpful and understanding. But to say the least, I'm getting better.

But onto my self esteem. Ever since I was in the 7th grade, my mom said I needed to lose weight. She told me to "suck it in" (referring to my stomach) before I went to school and for pictures. It hurt me so much. I had eating disorders after that, and to this day I still think of myself as overweight. Everytime I look in the mirror I hear my moms voice telling me to suck it in. I do need to lose a couple of pounds I'll admit, but for the most part, I'm fairly skinny. I just wish I could suck up my self esteem issues and get to the weight and shape I want to be in.

I just don't know what to do. Any advice?